Improve your Emotional Intelligence

I am meeting a lot of people who feel helpless to do anything in this economic onslaught.  As I say to them - “there is always something you can do” - even small things that get you rolling again.

The benefits of high Emotional Intelligence have been well catalogued. Emotional Intelligence accounts for more than 85% of exceptional achievement. While technical skills can be necessary for productivity, these are insufficient to explain the differences between high and mediocre achievers. High performers show emotional intelligence as task complexity increases. 

The best leaders have found effective ways to handle their own and others emotions. Understanding the powerful role emotions play in the workplace sets great leaders apart from the rest. Also leaders emotional resonance sets the tone in the group effecting the outlook of all those around him. Having and developing high emotional Intelligence is therefore also key in the area of leadership.

What about our current economic climate? We are seeing the need more and more for Transformational (charismatic, personable, lead from the front)  rather than Transactional (work for reward only) Leadership skills. As always occurs  when things are volatile. And guess what - our friend Emotional Intelligence is even more important and more impactful on Transformational Leadership because its personality led with people skills to the fore.

So what can you do about this? Well you can improve your EQ (Emotional Quotient) through training. You can improve your Organisations EQ through training also - improving their ability to achieve what they need to achieve.

Now thats something you can do.
Talk to these guys www.adeo.ie

Aidan Higgins

Motivate Yourself First

I recently gave a talk before Cavan County Enterprise Boards recent Awards Dinner on the topic of Motivation, with reference to the current economic climate. The reaction to the talk was extremely positive and also the feedback was particularly interesting.

I told the group that there are times I think when we forget the basics and lose ourselves in worry about things we don’t really need. This leads to suffering on a personal level that is not necessary and totally within our own control. Cutbacks and reductions can have an overly negative effect on us if we do not see that often these are necessary to moving forward. Often we attach meaning to things that causes us grief and worry. The way to address this is to sit down and think about what is really necessary at the end of the day and what of those things we worry about  are supports to our Ego rather than to our well-being and happiness.

Entrepeneurs and Small business owners in particular need to remain motivated and optimistic despite the current travails and to influence and motivate those around them as well. Someone once said “Sincerity is the secret - if you can fake that you can achieve anything!”. Well it can’t be faked, the people around you have a good idea whats going on really. So the feeling of motivation has to be real and come from within. Taking action every morning to bring a positive outlook into play by focusing on the positive things in our life can set the mood for the whole day. And bringing it to work influences those around us particularly small business owners.

The folks from Cavan had an interesting perspective. They reckoned the Celtic tiger hadn’t done much for them and so they didn’t miss it. “We never had too much around here anyway” they said and so we don’t miss it either. And this from as chirpy and cheery bunch of people as I’ve met. You know when you see what some have lost in terms of happiness and clarity in their lives its great to see that some have held on to what matters.

Aidan Higgins

Attitude is a Decision

I was driving through the pouring rain the other day and I was listening to the latest ESRI figures describing the contracting Irish economy and the increasing number of unemployed. As I arrived on this dark dank day at my destination -  a conference -  I walked into the room and the speaker was talking gloomily about Swine Flu and the imminent danger it represented. I was greeted by one of the conference organisers - “You the motivation speaker?” …”Yes” I replied and wondered to myself if I wasn’t up against it on this one….

But no - I thought again about what I was to talk about and I brightened considerably. For I went on to talk about attitude.

And attitude is everything. Some will look out on a rainy day and think “oh what a horrible day” - well no - its not horrible its just wet. We tend to add the adjectives that make stories which drag us into a state of mind that can be hard to get out of. We need to remember that things are as they are. Our reaction to the situation can be either empowering or destructive - but we get to choose which.

Viktor Frankl - a Psychiatrist who was interned in various concentration camps during the second world war wrote that choice was the last of the human freedoms - he tells us that “Even under the most terrible conditions of psychic and physical stress, we, who lived in concentration camps, can remember men who walked through the huts to comfort others and give away their last piece of bread …They may have been few in numbers, but they offered sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a person but one thing, the last and the greatest of human freedoms, to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way of life!” Frankl founded a school of Psychiatry to rival Freud and made an impact all over the world with the theories he engendered from his observations.

Given this truth can we not choose our attitude? I believe so. 

Its well known that one can alter state by conscious choice. There are methods which do this such as visualising happy events, or positive outcomes or repeating a mantra which evokes powerful and positive feelings. Once you achieve the new state of mind your (always) subjective perspective can alter too allowing you the freedom and energy to get into positive action.

And we need plenty of positive action right now.

Aidan Higgins

Success in hard times.

Is it always true that if we work harder we will do better? In times like we are passing through now, if we put our heads down and push are we doing the right thing? What happens if we are already working very hard and if we are already expending more of ourselves than we like and leaving nothing for our personal lives  - the wringings from a dishcloth. Is this sustainable?

The term work smarter is very old. However the term applies still to the concepts of using your efforts more wisely.  What about working more intelligently? A friend of mine once said to me - smart is short term - intelligence is long term. I see a lot of well meaning managers and leader, leading by example, burning the candle at both ends and bringing their people with them. For a time the work culture in  Japan for instance precluded you leaving the office before the boss left even if it meant staying until midnight. Corporate in Japan had to turn off the lights in their buildings to make people go home. Bosses mean well and often lead this way - “work harder and we’ll get through this!” 

But what about working more Intelligently. What about waking up your people to Awareness and making them more Emotionally Intelligent? What about using training to improve the success of your people, who properly motivated use these new skills to be better in all facets of their jobs. We have been hearing for years that we need to engourage people to be leaders and to strive independently for their team in their own interests as well as the teams. Well what about giving them the tools to develop their Self Awareness, Self Regulation , Empathy and Social Skills, all of which are directly related to success.

In 2004 Stanford’s Graduate School of Business stated that “Emotional intelligence skills such as vision, building relationships and developing people are more important to leadership success than typical leadership traits, such as external/market orientation, financial acumen and planning“. This study involved 265 corporate executives, directors, managers, business owners, and consultants.  Sir John Egan, former head of the Confederation of British Industry, BAA and Jaguar is quoted as saying that “It is the really inspirational leaders who stand out in a crisis…Emotional intelligence is a big plus in hard times“.

I met someone the other evening - a small business owner  - who said that becoming aware of his personality type made an immediate difference to the running of his business. He said he was able to re-organise his and others work to match his strengths. I have watched how the processes that improve awareness and Emotional Intelligence build better teams, comradeship and networks in business.

Better still its something we can do something about. Its not “out there” with the financial difficulties, its internal. We can get our people awake and working better together by applying simple techniques and opening up their awareness of themselves and others quite readily.

And success breeds success.

Aidan Higgins

Rediscovering Life

If you are looking for “something else” while you ponder the impact of the global downturn on you and others around you and you are perhaps reaching for another set of values - you might do well to get a cup of coffee or two and watch this series of lectures. Here is the first of a series of videos on Youtube of Anthony De Mello which he gave in front of an audience and which was simultaeously broadcast in interactive format all over North America. 

De Mellos teachings (from 1989) provide a foundation for, or use the same foundation as, a number of modern teachings on self development as he pulls from a number of the same original texts.  A thoroughly engaging character, Anthony he was a good friend to Dr Dick McHugh who I have mentioned before in terms of the work he does in NLP all over the world.

Any student of self awareness or personal mastery will get a lot from these, however any person with a sense of wonder in this area will also get much from this. From the engaging anecdotes to the wonderful ideas to the warmth of his personality it is a joy. It may even be life changing. As he says himself “I discovered something  a few years ago that changed my life, turned it upside down…let me tell you about it”

No less than the secret of happiness? - Has he got it? 
Stick with it through the intro and give him some time then you can decide for yourself.

Happy New Year
Aidan Higgins

A trip through Gestalt

I just spent nearly a week with Dick McHugh doing Gestalt. Wonderfull stuff. Gestalt is a therapy that focuses on ones experience in the present moment and on taking personal responsibility for our thoughts and actions. The course focused on the work done by Fritz Perls and Laura Perls with whom he worked in the US.

Again around one of my favourite themes, personal mastery we covered a lot of ground and many ideas new to me. Dick summarised it nicely when he said it was about “living life in the present because thats where the power is”.  Gestalt theory offers that Freudian Psychotherapy models of looking at historic events were not as effective as looking at the ”now”. This emphasised to me the continuing importance of Awareness and Presence of course, themes we touched on with Emotional Intelligence, NLP and the Enneagram in earlier posts.

A most important part of Gestalt is seeing one’s behaviours are Holistic in that there are many parts but they work together in a Whole. Further this behaviour is understood only in context (the events surrounding the behaviour) and this is termed Figure and Ground - behaviour and background or context. What was interesting is that this relates to the basic Taoist theory of Ying and Yang- foreground and background - one element only existing because of the other  (the mist does not exist without the mountain) and given that the originators were of German origan, far removed from Taoism in the early 1900’s its interesting that there was an overlap in concepts. Behaviour and Context can be likened also to Leadership in Context, however thats for another article I think.

So moving into opposites existing together we explored Polarities within us, which was very interesting.  Polarity theory is based on exploring two sides of one element of ones behaviour. An example might be when troubled or stuck on something to examine the emotional and logical resoponse to it as opposites. Dick had a great exercise. One sits in a chair looking at another chair and imagines the opposite sitting there, so taking the example you play the emotional role and make your point to the Logical. Then you swap roles and speak to the emotional as the logical. The argument is brilliant, bringing out both sides until there is a powerful consensus or resolution in the centre. As Dick said “thats where the power is”.

Gestalt is used to help people become real - from “paper people to real people”. For a personal journey for managers, leaders or employees this can lead to greater things, not least important, happiness. 

Great working with Dick again too.

Aidan Higgins

Computer Gamings Paradigm Shift

I remember a great cartoon of two parents looking in their sons room, watching him fanatically thumbing away at his Xbox/Playstation. The mother turns to the father and says - “I hope by the time he grows up game players will be in great demand then he will be able to earn a living ……”

When I first met up with computer games I was in school and they were asterix’s and 0’s and based on a Mini Computer  - A Digital Vax PDP11. I was facinated that you could play against a machine and imagination was all you needed. I have always been a computer gamer, where work, family and sport allowed and followed the trends from Alleycat to Leisure Suit Larry to Elite (PC) to Wolfenstein to Doom to WoW (which is the Worlds most popular on-line Game/ MMORPG).  I have never been a complete gaming loon but I did like them and preferred them to television often for entertainment. However they were always a one user operation. It was you and the PC. And thats all.  The real gaming specialists (experts who completed games in weeks/days) were shut in’s often locked in their room for 24 hours not speaking or communicating with others - not healthy.

I was on WoW the other day and a strange thing happened. I had to go to meet someone and on WoW I was linked up with some guildies trying to get something done to the benefit of us all. The torture I had to endure to get the project done before I had to leave was unbelievable. Was this addiction? No, it was not wanting to let the others down.

Not wanting to let the others down? Suggest friendship, loyalty, teamwork, belonging and community?

A long way from the anti-social shut-in paradigm?

I still meet people outside gaming that do not realise that PC Gaming has changed utterly - just watch as large entertainment corporates try to emulate the success of WoW. What was considered a loners operation has now become what my friend Declan Elliott calls “the new golf”, a method of socializing with others using on screen interaction and communication as well as Teamspeak (Voice over IP communication like phone conferencing).

Interactivity is where its at folks. Pull what you want rather than be force fed what you don’t.

Aidan Higgins

S* happens

There used to be a bumper sticker going around that said Sh*t Happens. You might remember Forest Gump while running across the USA “inspired” the phrase when he stepped is some dog poo, and said to a follower “it happens….”.  The saying is supposed to have an existential meaning, perhaps a shortcut to something more profound.  Personally after years of working too hard, and watching so many others doing and still doing the same - while missing the more important things in life I like to borrow from John Lennon and amend it to use the phrase “life happens”.

I have been doing some work and having some discussions on the nature of success and how it is achieved. During my work on Emotional Intelligence I came across references in Daniel Golemans works on the impact of Emotional Intelligence on success and was testing the theories on the its contribution to success - but wondering if he had taken into account the actual meaning of success to the individual. For example if to one individual success was a cottage, a boat and some fly-fishing would Emotional Intelligence help a person achieve that. I came to the conclusion that factors that helped self knowledge and the ability to work with others is bound to help one achieve almost anything one sees as a successful outcome.

However - discussions about the factors that create success have been very interesting in that it is the vision, or the greater purpose that creates the success not working towards the success itself.  I was very taken by a comment made by Cory Kahaney in a television interview about how she worried about money and success until she got into comedy because she loved it - and success came while she was focused on doing what she loved and doing it well. She felt it was ironic that as soon as she stopped looking for success - she got it.

There seems to be a common theme that aiming for success for its own sake is a mistake. I re-read a very well known book by Viktor Frankl called “Man’s Search for Meaning“. Viktor was a concentration camp inmate who as a Psychiatrist made a number of very telling observations which he wrote about after he was released. His observations and thinking  changed modern psychology and have had a huge impact on many in terms of the choices we make.  The edition of the book I just read had a foreword by the author in which he wrote:

“Don’t aim at success - the more you aim at it and make it a target the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness cannot be pursued it must ensue and it only does so as the unintended side effect of ones dedication to a cause greater than oneself ….. “

I find this fantastic. Its means to me that one should find a cause or a vision greater than one which delivers to you the “stuff” you desire - rather choose one that is above all that but matters to you. Follow that cause or that vision and success will ensue as a by product.

In other words …. ”success happens”.

Aidan Higgins

Enneagram Applied to Leadership.

I spent most of last week with Peter O’Hanrahan, the globally reknowned Enneagram Teacher that Margaret O’Rorke and I brought to Ireland to conduct an advanced work shop at the marvelous Emmaus Centre in Swords, North Dublin. It was real, intense and an altogether enlightening experience.

We spent the week revisiting the types at an advanced level and working the interview typing process - which was an experience. Its very interesting that one must ensure ones own perception of the world is clear before one can judge others. What Helen Palmer calls the veil of illusion must be cleared before one can make a clear and precise judgement of others perceptional filters.

In offline discussions with Peter, I had a chance to explore the business applications further and we discussed a number of issues. Peter had interesting insights in the Application of the Enneagram to leadership and in fact he is taking part in a symposium in the Enneagram Leaders Conference in the US in September 2008 with other thought leaders.

The benefits to leadership centre around:
Learning the powerful interpersonal communication breakthroughs from working at “a new level of awareness and non-judgemental receptivity”.
Making REAL connections with people
Using the three centres of intelligence (mind, body and heart) fully.
Exploring the next levels of your potential effectiveness by increase self acceptance and management of reactivity.
Understanding how to work with each of the other Enneagram styles.
Appreciating the special nature of each of the other perspectives.

As a Managing Director I have applied the Enneagram in leadership by understanding my own gifts and weak points better and working to resolve the latter. It also makes a huge difference to have your team and the rest of the organisation Enneagram aware so they work better together, on their own or with you as a leader or manager.

It is also important to understand that leadership is also about context, as in the environment in which you find yourself and your organisation. When that changes do you have the ability to change your style in response - are you aware of it and of the emotional barriers you may have to hurdle to do so? As we all know now the only constant these days is change - so more important than ever to be able to change yourself. And all real change happens from within.

Aidan Higgins

Leaders need to take norming into account.

I spoke with an Olympic athlete the other day, a very relaxed very enjoyable conversation with a very interesting woman. Amongst other things we discussed her qualifying for the Olympics. She had just returned from her training camp and had spent the last 4 years working towards qualification. While she had made the qualifying time she had narrowly missed being picked to represent her country at the Beijing Olympics. I had been watching her progress over the last few years and we had been in touch regularly. Her dedication and work ethic were something to admire and it took 4 years fully focused to get her to the point where she was eligible and her country was eligible to qualify. After all that, while outwardly she wore a grim smile I could tell she had yet to fully deal with the dissappointment.

She made some very interesting points which overlap with many of the truths for business and personal mastery.

The first was that as she was doing her races there might be 100 competitors in a race and she would often find herself in one of the the top ten positions in the home stretch. It was then, looking back at it now, that she could almost hear the “gold medals jingling on the necks of those behind her” and she would begin to think “I don’t belong here” and could feel the weight of this slowing her down and as she dropped back she would say to herself subconsciously ”this is what I deserve”.

The second was that she felt that the elite athletes in her sport were all pretty equal. She said that the technologies, processes, skills and preparation were all pretty much the same from athlete to athlete and team to team. The difference was in their heads. With all the other conditioning and work going on this was the piece that was most likely to differentiate first from thirthieth place.

The third point was in the team races where there were a number of races run over a single day and the winner won on points overall. She would find herself having great fun enjoying the competition and doing really well. Then, towards the back end of the day she would look at the score board and see that here team were in maybe fourth place and in a qualifying spot for the Olympics. Then the fun would go out of it as well as the success and she and her team would slip back under the pressure of trying to win.

We discussed “flow”, a term I use often and which was first introduced to me by a colleague and how when you are in the zone everything seems to work smoothly and achievement is easy. It is the mental strength to stay focused on the process and not the outcome (or the putt and not the leaderboard) that allows one to stay in flow.

As well as this is the norming behaviour we covered before which is the little voice which tells you whether you belong there, whether you deserve this and whther you can achieve the success you seek.

In business it is most important to realise that when all else is equal it is the mental edge that can make the difference, for teams, for leadership or for individuals. We are now reaching the stage where many businesses are equal interms of resources and process and where the only differences exists withing the heads of the employees - your human capital. As well as the ability to innovate, there is the knowledge but also the mental strength. What is being put in place to support this? What do our Leaders do? What is done to support Leaders?

Plenty for students of performance to chew on.

Aidan Higgins